Have you ever noticed how some people have the ability to captivate anyone? They light up the room wherever they go and exude a magnetism that commands attention and inspires admiration. They are the people who are still felt long after they have left and the people we most want to be like. They have charisma.
Charisma opens doors in the workplace. Someone with charisma attracts the right people, they are well connected, influential and are superb sales people, simply because people buy them.
While charisma is often thought of to be a natural-born gift, it’s not. Anyone can become more charismatic although for some of us it just takes a little more effort.
Here are four tips to help you increase your charisma, which can help you, light up your career.
Confidence is a crucial part of having charisma. To be compelling and have the kind of magnetism a charismatic person has you need to be confident. You not only need to command the attention of others, you need to be comfortable with having it.
Confidence emanates from your self-belief. If you believe in yourself and you learn to trust your instincts and develop your courage to be “You” then you will increase your confidence. This will enable you to overcome any fear of rejection or failure you have in approaching and talking with people and expressing your views and opinions. Managing your fear of rejection is key. So what if those people aren’t interested or interesting – you’ll find other people that are and if you’re self-confident you won’t have any angst or issues with that.
When it comes to influencing people, from your manager to your colleagues, your suppliers and your customers, you need to be intentional in your communication. Know the outcome you want, and what you need to say and do, to achieve it.
This requires being strategic in your approach, thinking through every statement or question and carefully considering what information or incentive may be required in order to engage and influence your audience.
Humour, fun and the element of (good) surprise can break down barriers and build rapport quickly. There is power in making people laugh. Charismatic people are generally witty and have you laughing and smiling in no time, which makes you feel relaxed and more comfortable with being yourself and therefore being in their company.
If making witty comments about situations doesn't come easy for you then try and develop a self-depreciating style where you can good humouredly be prepared to make fun of yourself. You have to be comfortable with this though and not fall into your own trap of believing what you are saying out loud about yourself. But if you feel comfortable in doing this, people will laugh with you, not at you, and you’ll build rapport. Over time it will become a natural part of your approach and you develop charisma.
BE INTERESTED TO BE INTERESTING
Confidence, comedy and charm are the winning combination of charisma. But charm isn’t just about flattery and compliments, it is about attracting and fascinating people. To do this you need to be interesting and thought provoking and there are two equally important aspects to this. The first is, being interested and the other is being interesting.
If you can be genuinely interested in the person you are talking with and ask them questions about them and their life and views you begin to reveal their true inner self. They will feel you are special and charismatic just because you have listened and are interested in them.
Being interesting also helps you in being charismatic. Whilst I would recommend you using your ears (listening) and mouth (talking) in the proportion you have them (2/3 and 1/3) its important for you to be able to provide interesting thoughts and comments when it's your turn to speak because when you have something interesting to say people are naturally drawn to you.
You can become interesting by learning and reading about different topics, issues and experiences, and ideally be able to express an informed opinion.
If you have something valuable to say, you will quickly develop a reputation for being a respected source of information and people will stop what they are doing to listen.
So, next time a charismatic person walks into a room make sure it’s you.